This question has been swirling around in my head for quite awhile now; I haven't come up with a conclusive answer yet. As you all know we have two children, since they are not of the same gender some of the issue at hand disappears, but not enough. My question is this: Do you buy two of the same toy/object some of the time, all of the time, or none of the time?
It's easy to avoid the fighting when you buy the same toy/object for each child, but then the lesson of sharing and delayed gratification is gone. Some of the time may be a good middle of the road option, yet do you really want to start that process? When is it appropriate, when is it not? Or you could just decide that you won't buy two of the same whatever, ever. Sharing is a must in life, a lesson best learned while young; and will the two object situation make a difference, they always gravitate to what the other has in their hands anyways ie. the grass is always greener mentality.
Just wondering what your opinion is. Talk to me, people. We don't throw stones here - let it fly.
It's easy to avoid the fighting when you buy the same toy/object for each child, but then the lesson of sharing and delayed gratification is gone. Some of the time may be a good middle of the road option, yet do you really want to start that process? When is it appropriate, when is it not? Or you could just decide that you won't buy two of the same whatever, ever. Sharing is a must in life, a lesson best learned while young; and will the two object situation make a difference, they always gravitate to what the other has in their hands anyways ie. the grass is always greener mentality.
Just wondering what your opinion is. Talk to me, people. We don't throw stones here - let it fly.
4 Comments:
My girl likes "girly" stuff and my boy likes "boy" stuff so it's not a problem in the store.
At home they play together. Sometimes with her toys, sometimes with his, and sometimes using both (my favorite is when his piarates capture her polly pockets and hold them prisoner until they walk the plank!). I don't know, the whole think just kinda works out.
Just buy them what they pick and they'll work it out.
So far I have only bought one of everything with the following exceptions: bikes, scooters, and in the near future Leapsters (my daughter got one for her b'day 2 years ago and now my son wants one). Also small things like coloring books, stickers I will buy them each a pack that they like.
At our house, they do tend to gravitate towards "male" / "female" toys. However they do argue quite a bit over the plastic little tikes car, the kids kareoke radio with only 1 microphone and the kids hoover vacuum. If they argue to the point that it annoys me, the object they are fighting over is immediately removed - at least for a few hours. They have come to learn at this age to either argue quietly (so it doesn't annoy me) or to just work it out. :)
There is very little that I buy double of. I like the idea that they are learning to share what they have and I can't stand a ton of "stuff" lying around.
Hope this helps.
Michelle
I've gotten away from buying toys just because. I generally only buy stuff as gifts, so the multiplicity factor isn't an issue, but I've never gotten two of the same thing and when someone else has, they haven't liked it. They prefer to have different, even if only slightly, toys. I do buy certain items regularly and without gift-giving reason, like sidewalk chalk, hula hoops, and bubbles. They get shared. But they all get their own crayons. Crayons are just too personal, like underwear. Some people keep them perfectly sharpened and all in their original places in the box. Some people like to strip the paper off and break them in two. You just can't share crayons.
I usually buy both of my girls something similar, but I avoid buying the same things. Every once in a while they'll argue, but they're always so happy when they get something of their own that's different.
Even better, when you hand it to them, explain why you got them different items. For example, if I bought two princess dolls, I'll give my oldest daughter the blonde and tell her I got it because the doll looks just like her, a princess. Then I'll give the brunette doll to my other daughter and say the same thing.
If you give them a reason to be attached to the differences, it makes the gift even better.
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