Reality

Daniel and I were talking the other day about how much we want to see this baby, to know who has been banging around in my womb for nine months. I mentioned to him how I think I have forgotten just how much my life is about to change. Daniel in his characteristically honest manner said, "Yeah, you have."
(Can I just tell you how much I appreciate being married to an man who will be honest with me. He is never hurtful or pointed, always gentle. His honesty goes well with my realist personality. I don't appreciate having reality glossed over. And Daniel knows that because he knows me. Have I ever told you I really like him?)

At that moment I let my thoughts go and I mused on a few of my imminent realities.... many nights with pockets of sleep tucked in around nursing, gassy baby cries waking me up, needy older children, one arm less than what I really require, limited freedom, more laundry than I could possibly ever get clean, and no dairy. Whoa! Reality.
But then last night, in my half-asleep half-awake state, the feeling of holding a newborn cradled against my body was nearly palatable. The sight of tiniest fingers curled around mine was in my mind's eye. The infinite softness of a newborn baby's head rubbing against my cheek was so strong. And I remembered- this is also reality. Reality doesn't just hold the hard parts of having a new, very needy person thrust into my life, there is incredible beauty as well.

I'd like to think I am ready for this baby. I have everything I need and a few things I wanted. I am preparing my mind for what lies ahead - but in doing that I am going to choose to focus on the wonderful parts of reality with a newborn rather than the tough. The tough will come whether I focus on it or not, the wonderful is what will get me through.

And just one of those wonderful things is being able to squeeze my husband tight...
I can hardly wait!