One Year Later

In some ways I can't believe it has been a year. In other ways I can't believe it's only been a year. So much has happened since Daniel has been home. We're still in Vermont, and we are having our third baby; both are situations we never thought our family would be in if you had asked us last year at this time.

I have definitely struggled with remembering to keep my perspective. I swore that when he was actually home from being deployed I wouldn't miss him when he had to work so much, or even take short trips. I was a mess last Sunday night when he had to go to Boston for ONE night. I have perspective problems.

I do have to say that I still appreciate any and all help he gives me when he is home. That is something I haven't lost. It's tough having to do everything by yourself. I was constantly exhausted from all the extra work. To this day I still appreciate every time he takes the trash out, or changes a light bulb, straps Judah in the van, does the dishes for me, on the list goes.

And I feel safe again. I constantly felt vulnerable when he was deployed. Exposed, like everyone knew my husband was living across the world. I dared not tie a yellow ribbon around my front yard tree, or hang a flag in my window. But, now that he is home I know I am protected.

My favorite part of Daniel being home has to be the hugs. I missed the touch of my husband incredibly. I was giving so much to my children, hugs, kisses, snuggles but no one was here to give any of that back to me.

It's been a good year, hard but good. I think I'll go give that husband of mine a squeeze now.