Daniel took this photo on Saturday
So, I was at a garage sale on Saturday. It was my day to hang out with Eliza and Eve doing girl stuff like hitting a few garage sales.
(Not that boys don't like that sort of thing.)
I was chatting and being all around friendly with the woman running the sale, because that's what I do. I am one friendly girl! It was going great, fine, pleasant; we were discussing military matters, housing, you know military spouse talk. And then she asked me the question, the one question you should never, never, nevernevernever, EVER ask a woman.
"Are you expecting another baby?"
"Ummm, no. Actually I am not."
And because I try to always be extraordinarily kind, I smile and chalk it up to my shirt. But then she had to go and ruin my effort to give her the benefit of the doubt.
She said:
"Oh, is it just left over from having your baby?"
"Why, yes. Yes it is."
And then I smiled and laughed a little because I just can't be mean. WHY! Why can't I, with a well said quip, put that woman in her place? Ugg. I just can't. Because I DON'T WANT TO MAKE HER FEEL BAD. That's why.
Anyways, this has happened with all three of my children. Someone has asked me that same stupid question.
Please, people, stop asking me this question. It hurts, okay.
I am not thinking I am some smokin' hot mama right now. But, to be perfectly honest, I am a size eight. I am a mere eight pounds from being a smokin' hot mama at my normal like I am 18 years old again weight. My stomach doesn't hang out over my pants, it's not flat, but it's not pregnancy-ish either.
So, for the love of all that is good and sacred, stop with the rudeness, already.
*Post from 1 year ago today ( This one breaks my heart!!): "Sam - Our Nose Picking Friend"
(Not that boys don't like that sort of thing.)
I was chatting and being all around friendly with the woman running the sale, because that's what I do. I am one friendly girl! It was going great, fine, pleasant; we were discussing military matters, housing, you know military spouse talk. And then she asked me the question, the one question you should never, never, nevernevernever, EVER ask a woman.
"Are you expecting another baby?"
"Ummm, no. Actually I am not."
And because I try to always be extraordinarily kind, I smile and chalk it up to my shirt. But then she had to go and ruin my effort to give her the benefit of the doubt.
She said:
"Oh, is it just left over from having your baby?"
"Why, yes. Yes it is."
And then I smiled and laughed a little because I just can't be mean. WHY! Why can't I, with a well said quip, put that woman in her place? Ugg. I just can't. Because I DON'T WANT TO MAKE HER FEEL BAD. That's why.
Anyways, this has happened with all three of my children. Someone has asked me that same stupid question.
Please, people, stop asking me this question. It hurts, okay.
I am not thinking I am some smokin' hot mama right now. But, to be perfectly honest, I am a size eight. I am a mere eight pounds from being a smokin' hot mama at my normal like I am 18 years old again weight. My stomach doesn't hang out over my pants, it's not flat, but it's not pregnancy-ish either.
So, for the love of all that is good and sacred, stop with the rudeness, already.
*Post from 1 year ago today ( This one breaks my heart!!): "Sam - Our Nose Picking Friend"
56 Comments:
OH MY WORD! You hardly look like you're pregnant OR that you have "left over" weight from Eliza.
That's just ridiculous.
(((((((HUGS))))))
I got asked this at a Del Taco once (by the manager).
I turned bright red. I said "no, no I'm just a chubby girl."
and ordered a kids meal.
Talk about brutal!
AMEN to that girl!! I think it is incredibly rude.
Rule of thumb, I never say anything to a pregnant woman until she looks like she is going to pop. Best motto to follow.
I cannot believe that lady, I hope you did not buy anything from her yard sale!
I cannot believe anyone would even remotely think that you're pregnant. I think you look great! We're not going for anorexic here. I hope she was an extremely skinny woman....not that that would excuse her rudeness.
Andrea- that same thing happened to me this weekend- while I was having a garage sale! I know I"m only 7 weeks out from having a baby & it's a little more reasonable to assume this body may still be carrying a child- but you still DON'T ask!! And you look fantastic. I can't believe anyone would even think it.
wow. just wow. You handled a very akward moment very well.
I cant imagine why she would have kept digging herself a deeper hole....
I think you look great.
I am JUST like you! I don't want to hurt others even if they hurt me. I used to think that was bad...that I should be able to lash back...but then I realized that it is a loving heart that we must have! :)
You look absolutely FANTASTIC! and a size 8???WOW!!! I am happy at a size 12!!!! LOL (and I am not even there yet....still have a ways to go..but I was a 12 in high school).
for the record, every time i see you, i comment to myself (i'm the only one there) that you're one of the hottest mamas i've ever seen. that woman clearly was born without a tact gene, and eyes, bc you're soooo not even close to fat. send her anonymous hate mail. (jk).
Megan
Okay, so how about a nice dose of humility, right? Girl, you look awesome and that woman should be kicked, in the shin, really, really hard. I don't like her.
But if it makes you feel any better, about 3 or 4 months after Abigail was born we were at a family function and a distant relative came up and rubbed and patted by belly and told me how excited she was for me. But I didn't smile (I dont like her anyhow) so I used this as an opportunity to seal that fate and made her feel horrible and walked away in disgust, nice, huh?
And then, just a couple of weeks ago, after losing more than baby weight!, my friend's two daughter's asked if I was pregnant.
Um, no, no I am not.
People suck.
You are right....you dont ever ask a woman this. Madison did this right after Miller was born I guess she assumed all my friends would be having babies like me. I thought I was going to die. Luckily it was a friend who laughed it off although she really is pregnant right now....but anyhoo....it is a wrong question to ask and Madison learned this that day.....a size 8..you go girl that baby isn't even 1 yet..I think that is awesome.
ughhh...just ughhhh
She was just jealous....
Your smokin'
Val en ABQ
Oh that IS the question you NEVER ask... was she crazy? You hardly look preggo at all and Eliza is NOT that old. Oh my!
Brittany
wow! i think you look amazing! you were right to be nice to her though...you know, seeing how she is mentally and visually impaired and obviously not firing on all cylinders and all. :) people never cease to amaze me.
Okay so I have been a lurker for a while, but with this post, I JUST HAD TO "come out of lurking!"
Some people! A great rule is to never say anything, until THEY say something about being pregnant! And WHY did she take it a step further, and say that it must be left over baby....OH MY GOODNESS...what a nerve! Good for you bcuz I probably would have overturned one of her garage sale tables, and stormed off!
:)
You LOOK GREAT...I don't know if I have ever been a size 8...
Chalk this one up to just a woman that spoke with out thinking!
But send me her address, I will have a talk with her! :)
Thanks, love the blog!
Callie
Andrea,
I can honestly say that I hope after having 3 children that I can look as faboulous as you. I'm not sure what this lady was on, or if she is just that blind, but you are gorgeous! I see pictures of you that you put on here and not once have I thought you looked like you were carrying extra baby weight. I'm sorry this lady said that to you, but she was rude, out of line and ridiculous for even saying that.
Simply not true!
What a big huge butt head! Doesn't she know the cardinal rule of a woman's pregnancy? You don't ask! You wait to be told! DUH!!!!
You so do not look anywhere near pregnant! Like, not even close! seriously!
Man, she would probably think I was expecting an elephant or two! (Twins can do that to woman's belly, its sad)
Love you skinny girl! (an 8? Oh, only in my dreams!)
Alicia
How mean!
Was she blind? Because you don't even look close to pregnant!
God bless you for holding your tongue. God was proud of you!
With that said, that was a very rude remark. (I can only think it stems from jealousy?) You do not look pregnant at all! So don't dwell on it.
Another no-no question is "When are you going to have kids?" to someone who's been married for years and childless. That question can be hurtful too.
Not that I've ever actually seen you in person, but you do not look pregnant at all. I can only imagine how deeply that did hurt. Some people have a really weird sense of humor and maybe in her own way she was joking. I don't know. I know a lady like that, who "jokes" by saying really hurtful things to people.
It's the second question that kills me! She's OBVIOUSLY lacking some social grace and also needs a visit to the eye doctor!!! Good job keeping your cool!
Well, like the others, I think you look fabulous and the lady was way out of line. She was probably just being nosy, because you don't have a belly at all!!
See first of all, you do NOT look like you're expecting another baby, and secondly even if someone did look like they were, why do people have to open their big mouthes????
I mean honestly, why would you say that to someone? UGH....don't worry about what she said Andrea, I know it must have hurt but it's so far from the truth hon :)
You're kidding me...right?? You look amazing, Andrea. I hope you didn't buy anything from her sale!
That woman had NO MANNERS WHATSOEVER.
Also. You = HOT.
:)
Seriously? Seriously this happened? (I know you're serious; I'm just incredulous). I have SUCH a hard time with people who are blatantly rude. People like that leave me speechless, which is kinda hard.
And you don't look like you have anything left over forheavenssake.
A second and third and forth to what everyone else said! You barely seemed to show when you were pregnant. And I can only hope after 3 kids I can look as good as you do right now! You look amazing! And 8 more pounds to go to your 18 year old weight. I have given up going for that #, you are impressive.
I had that same question asked me once when I was on my mission! I bought a big winter coat so that I could stay warm and wear it over layers. As it turns out, this was not done in Korea, women always wear their coats very fitted, to mention everyone was tiny. I am not a big person, but I felt that way there a lot. I had a woman reach up on the subway and pat my tummy and say, "When is the baby coming?" Ahhhh! My mission companion (a Korean) got so upset with the woman and I told her to stop and just laughed and said, "yeah, I'm a little fat..." but inside I was crushed.
Hope you can blow it off as just a very rude woman who must have been blind.
Ridiculous! I think she must be jealous. Or just plain mean.
Nicely handled!
Wow. I've just gotta say: Wow.
I think you look great!
Lucy
Wow, that was really rude! If she had apologized after the first comment, it wouldn't have been so bad, but seriously, I can't believe she kept going!!
You look amazing by the way, and if it makes you feel better, it took me a full year to lose all the baby weight. :)
Oh my gosh! Some people just need their lips sewn shut, seriously. I think you look amazing! Seriously some people need to be required to take a "because you're so stupid and don't know how to keep your mouth shut" class.
Oh my goodness. I just can't believe people have this kind of nerve. And, you look smokin' hot and so NOT pregnant!!
So sorry you had to go through that! People can be so rude!! You look great by the way, so I don't know what that woman was talking about!!
I just had baby #5 2 1/2 months ago and one of my kids asked me "You had the baby already, why don't you look like Miss Michelle now?" That would be my 5 ft tall 90 lb friend. I'm 5'11" and not petite like her. I just had to laugh....
Jennifer
www.islandacademy.blogspot.com
WHAT?!?!? Good gracious. I look 9 months pregnant if you look pregnant at all!! Heavens to Betsy! Some people evidently forgot MANNERS! You don't even look like you have a young baby, let alone THREE kids!
Oh. My. Word. I am embarrassed for that lady, does she have tact?!
You do not at all look pregnant. Nor that you have leftover weight.
I am just shocked.
Oh my heavens. I don't even know what to say. She must've been fat and jealous. There. I'll be mean. No problem. Should've brought me along, I would've left her with a pretty shiner to go with her tact.
You are so sweet, Andrea. You look wonderful.Don't think twice about her evident lack of vision and tact.
Just like 2 months ago I had someone at church ask me the same (LW was 10 mo). Except when I said no she was trying to figure out a way to backpeddle her way out so I just kinda shrugged it off as no big deal except htat it was really a big deal to me, it devestated me for weeks.......
Oh WOW. I can't believe that woman!!!
I've learned another question never to ask someone is whether they plan to have kids soon, if they don't have any yet. Too many infertile couples out there, and that question just stings.
Oh Andie! You've got to be kidding me!
It reminds me of the tabloids - some super thin, in shape model wears an empire-waisted shirt to the grocery store ONCE, and the whole world is wondering for weeks if she is pregnant. Sheesh! You look amazing. I sure hope nobody asks me that, because I've got a lot more leftover than you do. Shrug it off, gorgeous :)
I guess after the second rude question I would have looked at her and commented on how successful her lobotomy must have been.
Okay, so not really, but I always come up with really good slams after the fact.
Don't feel bad, last month I was in Sears and some lady asked me if I was Hope's GRANDMOTHER!! I wanted to slap her into next week, but I was so dumbfounded I couldn't say anything.
BTW, if you look pregnant then I must look like Shamu.
What?!! I'm flabergasted! You hardly look pregnant! (and I know, because you posted that full length picture of yourself not too long ago) You are a teensy-tiny Momma!
That woman was probably just jealous :P
I canNOT frickin' believe that! That is the rudest ever! And I'm so like you -- I would have been nice not wanting her to feel bad! And then hind sight would kick in and I would kick myself for being kind! UGH! Darn us nice people anyway! :o)
No, I take that back... darn them naive people! Ha!
You look great! And, don't let anyone tell you differently!
Smiles,
Jennifer
You have such grace! I am former lurker of your blog and have always thought that you look F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C! As a victim of a similar incident, I know how much it must have stung. I once had a fellow teacher ask "when are you due?" I don't know who was more mortified, me or her, when I replied, "I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat!" She didn't speak to me for two weeks. (Although it was a wakeup call for me because, unlike you, I was carrying around some extra baggage. I'm still thankful for her comment, as hurtful as it was, because I then lost 35 pounds!)
Some people...
I forgot to add to my reply...
I came in a couple weeks later and she says to me "Oh aren't you the girl who I thought was pregnant?"
Mortified x2
Would a cute litte box of Godiva help numb the sting? You won one over at Straight Shooter! Let me know your new address soon so I can help out with the healing soon!
Some people are just mean for the sake of meanness. But, here's a little tale that I hope will make you laugh. :-)
I am very careful about making pregnancy related remarks unless it is VERY obvious that the woman is, indeed, pregnant. Like she's a week overdue. :-) One day, I was at the library with the kids. There was a story hour going on and the place was jam-packed with daycare kids. I'd been watching this one lady for a while, because I thought she was pregnant, but I wanted to make sure. She was shaped like a pregnant woman, relatively thin in the arms and lower legs, but protruding forward in the belly area. Check. She was wearing a mumu-style dress in an outdated print, but she was a bit older than me and perhaps it was left over from an earlier pregnancy. Anyway, it looked like a maternity dress. So, check. The thing that put me over the top, though, was that she kept rubbing her belly! I have never seen ought but a pregnant woman do such a thing so consistently, even if they are newly so and not even showing. So I finally got up the nerve to ask her, because I was pregnant, too, "When are you due?" She laughed and replied, "Oh, honey, I ain't pregnant!" Oops. I was glad we were on our way out. :-)
That's about the stupidest question!!!! You are tiny! Sheesh. Some people!
Geesh. Was she a big woman? I bet she was a big woman and was just jealous of you! You do not look pregnant!! I don't know why people haven't figured this out yet. Even if the woman is ready to pop I don't ask that question! I have a friend who is a little "chunky" as she puts it and people are always asking her when she is due. It makes her sad too:(
They say it takes 7 nice comments to counteract 1 mean one. Hopefully, having 47 people say that you look amazing will do the job ;)
I think you look great! People just don't think before they speak.
um, I really wish someone would just comment on this post already...haha I'll add to the list, you are the most beautiful sister EVER! Love you!
What a bitch. EVERY woman knows you shouldn't ask that, she was just being a JERK. You are a much better person that I...I don't think I would've been able to help some funky remark.
That is so stinkin' rude. I can't believe she said that. I'm sorry.
((hugs))
I taught my husband and my kids--NEVER ever ask a woman if she is pregnant--even if she is about to pop for that very reason. I had a horrid gas bubble from my c-section and after birth I had to walk up and down the aisles to try and 'pop' it as to avoid surgery. A woman stopped me and said 'that baby will come out quick--don't worry' to which I responded "I just had my baby two days ago. I am just FAT" and I burst into tears and went to my room.
Never will forget it :(
Happy POW
Oh my goodness.
Another woman should know if in doubt you NEVER ask.
Rude!
I think you look terrific!
I don't see it at all. Some people are just so insensitive. I mean if you are going to make that mistake then for Gods sake just leave it at that and don't dig it in a little more. Boy do I wish I could be a size 8 after having my 3rd child. Believe me I am very far from being that size ;).
Monica
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