In Which I Proclaim My Actual Weight to the Entire World
Why is it that I read the scale (evil, evil little things!) and it says:

"Hey Andrea! You only have 6 more pounds to lose and you'll be back to normal! Whoo-hoo..."

But I feel like I am bigger than ever. Seriously, I feel like a beached whale. I just don't get it. I haven't been eating badly, pretty normal, well except for a minor Chex mix issue.

I am at the point of feeling as if I will never shed these last few pounds. And I know I will - after three kids I think I have figured my body out - I know it takes my body about a year to get back to normal. But, I'd like to buck the system and be at my normal weight by the end of September.

Sigh. We'll see though. Eliza is still nursing like a champ, and while breastfeeding my body stores fat like we're headed into a famine. Apparently so does Eliza's. Case in point:

IMG_101601

Take note of the jowls and double chin, not to mention the chubby arms. It looks cute on her, me... not so much.

You know, honestly, sometimes I get really frustrated to even be thinking about this weight issue. I weigh 131 pounds. For my height - 5' 8" that is not fat, but I feel like it. And as much as I would love to blame it on "Hollywood" and all the stigmas surrounding it (anyone else feel anger towards Nicole Kidman and her immediate look of never having a baby?) I can not. I put this 'need' to get back to my pre-children weight on myself. But why? I have had three children. I shouldn't, can't, won't ever look like I have not. Why do I expect so much from myself? Why do I load up the guilt when I see myself in the mirror and I look like a nursing mother?

I know I am not the only one that struggles with these feelings - anger, laziness, apathy, frustration, feelings of never "getting there." Anybody in this boat with me? I need some company!
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