On Marriage

As I was sitting in the church pew last Friday night, watching Andy and Leigh's wedding rehearsal unfold, I had some thoughts go through my head. I was thinking that as thrilling as our wedding was, and as exciting as starting out as a new husband and a new wife with the tremendous amount of good feelings, overachieving love, and freshness was, I wouldn't trade spots with the bride and groom for anything. I had no desire to be up in front of the church pledging my life to a man I think I know but really, really I didn't know him. Not like I know him now. Or vow to love that man forever, the one who I was sure I already loved deeply enough to last eternity, but looking back I can see how incredibly shallow my love was. Not deep like it is today.

It's amazing how my perspective has changed. Amazing how much Daniel and I have grown into each other, even in just six short years. Amazing how on our wedding day there was the feeling of commitment, but today there is the sacrifice of commitment.

Daniel asked me if I had ever thought that, perhaps, in thirty years we would look back on being married for six years and think - we didn't know a thing, that we were just starting out? I answered him - Absolutely! I should hope so. To think of not growing and learning past this point is indescribably sad. I anticipate the years to come, I look to them for comfort. The comfort found in loving the same man for all of my life, and knowing he loves me too. Comfort in the knowledge that we are learning who the other one is now, and that the desire to continue to learn will go on even as we change over the years of our marriage. I am looking forward to the years when child-rearing is not the central point of our lives. When it is back, once again, to just the two of us traveling life together, but this time with years and years of marriage packed securely in our bags. How sweet it will be.