My mom leaves tomorrow. And there is great fear in my heart. Will I be able to do this? I know I will be able to survive, but will I be able to accomplish it all well? I don't want to let my kids down by being grumpy from lack of sleep, or not have the energy to do the simple things like playing with them or perhaps even making dinner. Going to the store by myself with the kids... oh glory, that thought is just too much right now. Reality is coming and I face it with much fear and trepidation. But yet I am kind of excited too. I want and need to prove to myself that I can indeed do this. It may not always be pretty but I will accomplish it.
My mom has worked her can off while she's been here to make the transition easier. She's made meals- as in 84 of Barb's burritos for Daniel- along with many other meals to help me out on those tough days. She's done laundry and dishes and just generally taken care of us. It has been WONDERFUL. But it has to end.
We have four more months here, where Daniel usually works until 7:30 or 8 o'clock at night in a very stressful environment - that schedule and stress, I know, will slowly ruin me now with the three kids. It was exhausting enough with the two. But he recently committed to me to come home much earlier.... I only hope he really can. It's amazing the difference in knowing he'll be coming home a couple of hours earlier can make on my outlook. In my humble and non-official Air Force opinion he deserves a few months of not having to nearly kill himself - after four years of this job I think he should be able to ease up a bit. Except I don't know if he even remembers how to not work like a horse anymore. What I do know is his work ethic is incredible. But exhausting.
So, tomorrow my new year begins..... it holds a new baby, a major move, a girl entering kindergarten (oh my heart!), a husband starting a new job. So many huge life changes. I think I may need to "up" my sense of humor.... I have a feeling I am really going to need it.
Only by God's grace will I be victorious.
12 Comments:
Andrea,
Oh how I have felt the exact same way first when Noah was born and then once Abigail came along. I cried the day before Justin would have to go back to work both times because I was terrified of doing it alone. But both times I find the strength to trust God hadn't given me more than I could bear. Its funny because as hard as those early days are when you are in the thick of them you manage and you just get done what needs to be done. It wont be easy but you will get through it and my guess is that you will do it quite gracefully. You are a fantastic mom, wife and friend - so dont beat yourself up if you have to let somethings go for a few weeks.
Ill be praying over you!
Kim
You'll be able to do this, you are a wonderful mother and a strong individual. It will be hard, as you know, but you'll get through it. The first time I took a 4 yo, 3 yo, and a newborn to the store I thought the world would end. But now? Now it is (almost)a piece of cake.
This year will bring forth many wonderful things for you, I am sure. From first baby smiles to possibly first baby steps, to that BIG kindergarten step.
I'll be praying for you and your family.
But you will excel this year. I am sure of it!
You CAN do it! God is great and he doesn't give you more than you can handle. You are an amazing mom and grace will get you through.
My husband too has an incredible work ethic. He's really tried hard to cut his hours back this year. It's been hard but well worth it.
I'll be praying for you too!
Brittany
Andrea,
With the help of God you and Daniel will do this. But don't forget to ask him for help. You cannot do all of this on your own. But God can help.
How wonderful your mom has done so much for you. She is incredible. 84 burritos....wow. I wish I lived near to help you out. But your a pretty strong woman. I look forward to going through the struggles and good times with you this year. I'm praying God holds you close in his hands and embraces you when you most need it dear friend. You will be fine. Hugs....
One more thing...where will you be stationed at in 4 months?
Time to start doing your grocery shopping online and having them delivered!
Andrea,
I can totally relate, but I know you can do this. It will definitely be an adjustment for a while, but then, it will be something that you are accustomed to. Taking three children out by myself is something I am starting to get used to. (When I have a vehicle to drive. :)) Just be patient with yourself, and remember that God will give you the strength. Blessings!
Before long, you will be making this look easy and the rest of us will be asking how you do it! With all of these changes in 2008 are some fantastic opportunities! I'm excited for you!
Our oldest girls are the same age. Jillian will be heading to kindergarten this fall. I ache just thinking about it.
With God's grace you WILL be victorious.
We all need to be reminded of it. The other day I was feeling QUITE frustrated with 1yo and I said, "it's impossible to..." and 3yo chastised me, "Nothing is impossibwle with Dod."
I know you know it, but I hope it helps!
Besides, how bad can it be? You've got a baby with strawberry pants! :-)
I know the feeling! I felt like that when my mom just left on Sun after being here for a week on Christmas - and I only have Kayla! I can just imagine how it is with a newborn, plus two other kiddos! I'm sorry your mom has to leave already - just remember to take it one day at a time. And it's ok if you're not dressed and showered by noon or don't leave the house for a week! :)
You'll do fine, not just fine but great! I'm glad your mom could stay and help you out for awhile but I'm not going to lie I'm excited that she is coming home. I missed her at volleyball (she's our noise maker)and I have some cooking questions I've been saving up for when she returns!
Tarah
Your Mom is so wonderful. Thanks for sharing her with us. I'm sure it was just as hard for her to go as it is for you to let her go. A mom is always a mom.
I'm sure you will do a great job finding the balance with Eliza in the house. It will certainly have it's ups and downs but your a resourceful and very intelligent woman. May God multiply your rest and bring you a great deal of patience and creativity for the future!
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