Dessert for Dinner - Take 3: Chocolate puddingDaniel watched me as I prepared our dessert for dinner last week... homemade chocolate pudding, sliced bananas in the bottom, freshly whipped cream on the top. He made a statement about our kids being the envy of the neighborhood. Dessert for dinner... what a crazy thing to do!
His innocently insightful words made me think about our kids; were we starting to spoil them a bit? Yikes!
I took a few days to explore those thoughts, to watch myself and how I treated the kids, to think about the direction in which Daniel and I are headed as parents.
I came to a startling, yet revealing conclusion.
I realized I do want to spoil my children. I, deep down in my heart, want nothing more than to spoil my children rotten.
But to spoil them with memories.
Memories of gifts - thoughtful, loving gifts. And special trips we took as a family. Times when we threw caution to the wind and did exactly what we wished we could do. Of dessert for dinner nights, and crazy, fun times eating together. Memories of traditions, and special things that we always do, or always say. Memories of being loved, and of mom and dad having the freedom of expression to show them that in non-traditional ways. To not think rules, rules, rules.
When my kids are adults and they are asked for their favorite childhood memory, or favorite trip, or birthday - I want them to not be able to decide which one was the best. The very, very best. I want them to think back on childhood as a magical time; a part of their life when the love they felt from Daniel and I was overwhelming, and the good times we created - or allowed to happen because of our openness for spontaneity - culminate for them in a feeling of joy and contentment of a life well lived.
I want Eve and Judah and Eliza to think back on their years of life spent in our home as the best years of their lives. I want them to look forward to, to anticipate with great expectation, creating a wonderful life for their own children.
Daniel and I run a pretty tight ship around here; we hold our children to a high standard. Our kids don't get away with any crap, and they know we are unequivocally in charge, but in saying all that I must point out that our home is a place of love. Love, fun, laughter, and great memories help to make up the foundation.
Dessert for dinner being just one brick in that foundation.
27 Comments:
Mine? Hmmm...they are a little on the spoiled side. I am trying to keep it within reason. But they are so dang good at what they do!
You are such an awesome mom, Andrea. No doubt your kids "rise and call you blessed."
Wow, that makes me want to be a Mommy just like you. Your kids are so lucky!
i couldn't agree more! and, could you be MY mom??
we hope all the same things!
Megan
Can I come live with you folks? :-)
Ok, first off - you better make some room, cause I am so moving in! That pudding looks way beyond awesome!
Aside from that - I couldn't agree with you more. Dessert for dinner? Awesome! The fact that my kids stay up till 11 on many, many nights? Awesome! Marc and I somewhere along the lines discovered the same thing that you are talking about.
Once today is gone, we will never get it back. We are, sadly, on day closer to our babies becoming adults. I know I don't succeed always, but I want each day to hold a good memory. I want my kids to look back and remember all the awesomeness of their childhood.
We also run a tight ship, must be that military thing. Yep, they are a bunch of well-behaved, freaky, spoiled little homeschooled kids - and I wouldn't have it any other way!
Great post!
Allicia
I think you are an awesome momma. They will be so proud of you one. You are doing a grand job.....spoil them.
That's the best parenting philosophy out there!
You sound like a wonderful mother, your children are incredibly lucky to grow up in your household!
Wow you're an amazing mother! You are definitely inspiring to me because my dream is to be a Mom in a few years and I have gotten great advice from you! :o)
I fully intend to fill whatever kids God gives me with love and memories.
Thank you for so beautifully articulating that :)
completely agree! you've inspired me :) i think we'll start a dessert for dinner night!
You and Daniel are doing a marvelous job with your treasures. And capturing it through photos, too! I had a "magical" childhood and thank God daily for my parents. I hope I am doing just as well with my boys. You are an inspiration to us all, Andrea! Your words are so touching!
I have never met your children, but from just your stories I can tell that they are wonderful, sweet and intelligent children.
I think whatever you are doing is working very well. If spoiling them with dessert is part of the equation then so be it. They can be spoiled without being brats and obviously you have that combo down just right.
I love hearing about your family and all the fun things you guys do. It makes me want kids of my own sooner then I had planned. :)
what was take 3 of dessert for dinner
Dear Anonymous-
You are SHARP! I am not. This was Week 3 not Week 4. Thank you!
-Andrea
Looks delicious - you sound like amazing parents and I'm all for a little spoiling of the chocolate pudding and whipped cream variety :-)
Your house sounds a bit like ours...we run a tight ship. Our kids are good kids, and don't get away with crap. They work their little butts off...
...but we love the fact that we CAN do fun things with them. Things we didn't get to do as kids. We try to create a lot of memorable times...great memories that will last when the stuff we can't afford to buy is only a distant memory.
That pudding looks so yummy! Can you share the recipe?
Although I don't have children yet, I know the kind of mom I want to be and you just summed it up so eloquently in that one post.
I've been thinking over the whole dessert for dinner idea. It sounds great to me. I just recently talked to someone who does ice cream for dinner. My only question is if my hubby would feel satisfied. I know I would love it and the kids, of course would. Maybe I could save it for when daddy goes away! Hey, could I please have your chocolate pudding recipe? I love chocolate pudding. :)
Oh, this post resonated with me. We, too, run a tight ship. We also laugh a lot and make special memories.
We have yet to make dessert for dinner though. I need to get on that.
Dessert for dinner sounds like a fine tradition to me!
My children (especially my son) love to have breakfast for dinner, which can be like dessert by the time we dress up our pancakes the way we like 'em ( :
There's a saying I like- 'rules without relationship equal rebellion'. It's a good reminder about finding the balance between rules and building relationship in respect to parenting. Sounds like you're doing just fine in that area ( :
Yummy! how did you know that chocolate pudding is my fav! i think it is good to have dessert once and a while for dinner...you guys sound like the coolest parents that your kids friends will one day envy.
ouch to that fall from the previous blog entry. looks like she was a good sport about it all and I am sure no more running at the pool.
You and Daniel are amazing parents. You know I used to struggle with the idea of spoiling my kids but I realized that there's a balance that needs to exist. I'm happy I've found it and I think you guys have too :)
Yummy chocolate pudding! :)
Hugs,
Sandra
You guys do an AMAYYYZING job with the kids!! I remember back before Eve was born, and when she was young, and how you were so conscious of parenting and doing good at it. It's nice to hear that you still have that on your mind but I'm glad that it hasn't polarized you or made you try too hard. Really I think you guys are model parents and hope one day to be like you!
I hope my kids grow up "spoiled" too. You have such a great perspective Andrea! Thanks for sharing :)
I love this post and it totally made me think, I even talked to my husband about it last night! Now if I could just figure out a dessert that we would all be happy with eating for dinner!
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