Photo by EveBecause I am just so dang curious...
I want to know one thing you absolutely love about the military.
Is it the free medical care? The quality of life? The free housing? The knowledge that you are involved in something bigger than yourself? The sense of patriotism that comes from serving your country? The Commissary? The travel - billeting? The annual pay raise?
For me, personally, one of the best and most loved parts of being in the military - as a spouse - is being able to experience life in different parts of the country... and hopefully world! I love meeting new people, discovering a new city and uncovering it's quirks, meeting new people - Oops! Did I already say that?
And I guess I just love never being bored - there is always something new to discover, a surprise TDY, a deployment, a PCS... Life is never boring when lived as a military spouse.
There are somethings I don't love about the military.
No, that's not true. I pretty much love it all. Except paying to use the base pool... I don't like that.
There are other more serious things I don't like, but honestly, I strive to not settle my mind on the hard stuff, but instead choose to view this life as one big adventure. (Will someone please remind me of this when Daniel deploys!!)
Alright, next question...
If you could change one thing about your military life what would that be?
No answer is wrong. I can't wait to see your unique perspective.
Oh, one more thing... I'm starting a ladies night, for military wives ( and others too - as I meet them!), at my house on the first Friday of the month. Everyone brings a dessert and I am providing the wine along with other beverages (since I won't be drinking). What do you think? Will people come? Do you have any suggestions for me on how I can make it more fun, or run smoothly? How to make this something the women would love to come back to again the next time?
I'm all ears!
21 Comments:
Well obviously I can't answer the military question, but I can answer the :What would make people enjoy this Monday night thing?: question.
I love conversation, love food, love people. I'd steer away from anything overly planned - as that might feel too regimented. Norah Jones is always a good relaxer in the background and a welcoming smile always wins me. But we know you can manage that smile pretty well. :)
And don't be too smug - we know your kids are totally way cuter than theirs - but don't tell them that, okay?
We used to be Air Force...10 years ago...I loved the free health care....what I wasnt crazy about was being so far away....
I too like you, love the aspect of experiencing different states, countries and cultures. All while meeting people from all over. Without being a military life I'm sure I wouldn't have experienced Louisiana the way that I am and I never would be able to live in Italy for three years of my life. That's what I really love about it.
If I could change one thing it would probably be with deployments. I've never been through one with Sean even though he's been before. I worry about what could happen and at times that really stresses me out. Knowing that I won't always have him at home though makes me appreciate my time with him more.
Oh..and as far as the military wives get-togethers you were talking about, those sound like so much fun! I would love it if we had something like that around here.
Generally speaking, I love military life, but these deployments are wearing on me. We live on deployment time now and there is nothing else. We're either deployed, recovering from deployment or preparing to deploy, and it is just so draining. If the tempo was slower, it would be so much more manageable.
What I love? the health care and the strength it has brought our family. I used to like the moving around. We have done it a little to much lately but was fun, now that the kids are in school and getting into higher grades it makes it harder. It breaks my heart every time they have to say good-bye to friends.
Girls night is such a good idea. I would suggest adding in a game like Taboo, it makes everyone laugh and you find out more about now their minds work
I miss the camaraderie, the free health care, and the sheer pride of being a part of something so honorable (esp in a war time).
I love the idea of a wine and dessert night. That sounds like a lot of fun!
Obviously we've only been doing this a short while, but I adore the people and the friendships. The instant bonds that only occur under such a stressful lifestyle but that last for a lifetime. I'll miss that sense of community and camaraderie that surrounds the military lifestyle.
Living this life during a time of war is both honorable and exhausting. Everyone is either deployed, getting ready to deploy, or recovering from a deployment. The tempo seems to be wearing on a lot of families right now.
Your girls' night sounds fun! I wish I was close, I love things like that :)
Funny you bring this up today because I was just having a similar conversation with my neighbor last night :)
I cannot imagine NOT being a military wife now. I love it. I really do. Knowing that my husband is contributing to something so vast for the benefit of our country is wonderful. It makes the periodic sacrifices so worth it. The heath care = awesome! (we would have gone bankrupt as civilains trying to take care of Dillon's care financially if it hadn't been for the military). I love living on base. (not our house specifically- but the atmosphere). There are great schools for the kids, great shopping, and a wonderful sense of community.
And the travel! Oh yes! I was just saying last night that when J retires we're going to have to buy an RV or something, because I cant see myself just living in one spot now for decades on end. I want to see the world :) And I was never that way until I married into the military. I was scared to death to leave home initially, lol.
The most difficult part of military life for us has been just as much a blessing too. The frequent separations have been difficult. But they've caused us to work hard on our marriage, and I know we've both grown and matured and ultimately become stronger because of them. Plus, there are times when I miss my family terribly. But again, had we married and never left home there's a good chance we'd be divorced by now. Both our families tend to be a little TOO involved sometimes if you know what I mean, haha. And it was good that J and I got out on our own and learned to solve our own problems and set up our own unique family without everyones 2 cents from day 1.
My only other concern that surfaces often is for our children. I wonder how this life will affect them with the constant moving and starting over. I wish they were able to have a "home" town. But instead when people ask them where they're from they'll have to say "I'm from all over". I wish they had the opportunity to know their grandparents better. But I suppose they wont know anything other than what they've grown up in and wont have much to compare it to. It's just oh-so-different from how their father and I grew up...
I've just realized that every time you ask a question about military life I blab on and on and on :P Sorry! I guess it's something I'm passionate about.
I LOVE being a military wife...every time he starts talking about getting out and being "just" a reservist, I start having panic attacks...
I LOVE not having to pay $300+ per month for health insurance, plus co-pays!
I LOVE the sense of community.
I LOVE seeing different parts of the country.
I LOVE the secure way of life...our housing is taken care of, health care, and provisions made for our future.
Things I might change?
....ummm, dare I say it? Stupid people who "play" the system, making the rest of us look bad.
...."outsourcing" of military jobs to private contractors.
Your get-together sounds like a blast! Can I come?!?
What I love about the military is the sense of patriotism and being a part of something much greater than myself. For us, it's awesome to see our children grow up with a respect for our military, our nations leaders, and an understanding of the sacrifices made so that we can live in Freedom. And a great analogy that we see in real life as to God's love for us.
What I dislike about the military? Paperwork!!
Have a great time Monday night! I hosted a "We Survived 100 Days" party when the guys here had been deployed for 100 days. It was a great way to connect with the wives. I made them a treat bag with a cute quote saying thingy on it, we ate, talked, laughed, and just had a good time enjoying the company of other women.
What I loved about active duty: free health care; base priveledges like the commisary, BX and free gym/ pool; the comradery of other military families; job security; free legal stuff like our wills; the sense of duty; paid leave... we had it good!
I didn't like the run around we get (at this base) to get an appointment or talk to a nurse or doctor about something. I also have to agree with the paperwork comment for Mike's sake. That drives him crazy. And the deployment thing freaks me out a little. I met Mike right after he got back from his only one so far... we know he will go in the guard now, and I am not looking forward to it. If I just close my eyes will it go away?
Your get together sounds like fun! My little obvious tip-- supply other beverages other than wine and let people know. I don't drink, and it would make me more comfortable going to something, if I knew that wasn't going to be the main focus of the evening. Also helping set up or suggesting a list of babysitters for those whose husbands aren't home would probably be helpful. Have fun!
I really love the fact that we are a military family, it's a little different in Australia. We don't have free medical or base housing but we have other perks. I'm just so proud to be a military spouse, I'm proud of my sailor for serving our country. I like the fact that you are always testing yourself, whether how you are going to cope with the next deployment, leaving new friends or family but I really love the military.
What I don't like is when my sailor spends about 6 months of a year away from home, I wish he could be here everynight.
The get together sounds like a great idea, a few of the spouses get together here and it's so much fun. I wish I was a little closer I'd love to have a chat to you about the military.
Take care :)
Ally
Funny you should ask these questions now, as they're something that have been on our hearts and minds lately. We have some big decisions to make soon regarding the military, retirement, etc.I love being a part of my husband's passion for his career. I'm proud to be married to a soldier and I'm glad that my kids have a soldier for a father, even though it means he's missed a lot of their young lives. Job security, BAH, and special pays are nice perks.I could do without the gossip and cliques you can sometimes encounter when it comes to spouses. One thing I wish I could change is non-military people's (mis)conceptions of military families or what it's like to be a military wife. Your ladies' night sounds like fun! I used to shy away from such things, but now I long for them.
Right now I'm not so much loving the military life as I am suffering through lol. No, I do, for the most part, enjoy being an Army wife. I love the fact that I had our beautiful baby boy for free. I also love that I can get a gallon of milk at the commissary for $2.59 instead of $4.10 off post.
Good luck at the get togethers!
I love the free health care, free prescriptions, the support network the military gives. I love the pay raises, I love the way they are fair in promoting--in order to be promoted you have to actually work for it!
The one thing that I don't like is the moving. I love going to new places and seeing different pparts of teh world, but the bad thing that comes along with that is leaving your best friends. That to me is the hardest part.
Your Monday nite get together sounds amazing! I am so jealous! I wish someone did stuff like that here. I haven't found many people to hang out with here, yet. It sounds like so much fun, girl!
Thanks for this post! I stumbled on your website while looking for a real-life dose of military wife wisdom, and have been hooked ever since! We'll be making a move towards the military in the near future, and I needed some reassurance - I don't know what to expect! Your perspective is so cheerful and refreshing - you've given me a lot of confidence that I can be a military wife, too! Instead of a big scary unknown, now I'm armed with all sorts of helpful insights and advice. I love all your posts, but these are especially helpful to me - you don't realize how much of a change you've made in my attitude - sorry if this is creepy - but thanks so much!!! :)
What do I love? I pretty much love it all. I may complain about the healthcare, but it is free and it isn that bad. I actually love the moving, really I do. We move in 4 months but I am so ready.
What would I change? The goodbyes. Had one last night and it hurt. And I guess I would change the sepertions, because after 8 months I am ready to have him home.
I love all of it, I do think of moving as a paid vacation and the opportunity to go places we wouldn't otherwise go if we were civilian. I love the benefits, I love the medical and I love being a part of something important...
I think the ONLY thing I hate about it is that at times I feel there is not enough focus on the families and definitely the deployments....I could do without those LOL
Ok, I feel like I'm agreeing with everyone else. The health care, the base housing, the benefits of the BX and Commissary. The list goes on and on.
What I don't like...the travel. But it comes with the job. My hubby is gone about 200 days a year (not all consecutively, thank goodness), but that does make for a stressful time at home. I agree with Mrs. Staff Sgt. that it does strengthen the marriage. Keeps the flame burning! :) So, that's what I think!
I love the constantly changing life, the challenge of it all. Even though I hate missing him, I find myself getting just a little bit excited when he goes to sea because I know it will herald a new adventure for me. And homecomings, they rock!
I love that he will be going to the detailer next year and we are already talking about all the fun possibilities. I love the chance to be out of debt, have our babies for no out of pocket cost, and save a whole lot more money than we ever did as civilians.
However, I hate the fact that we can NEVER plan for ANYTHING. Vacations especially. They are always last minute, rarely when we first thought they would be taken, and I never really start breathing until we are actually on the plane and on our way. Like our Hawaii trip next month, which is still not completely booked because of some serious doubt about whether it would happen. Yeah, I've gotten good at throwing stuff together last minute...
And a get together; I'd totally go. I should be better about doing such things; the few times my girlfriends and I have done so, it's been so much fun. My biggest hangup would definitely be whether or not I had a husband, though. Babysitters are not easy to come by, especially at night.
since I was pretty much "born into the military" this is all I know - I don't know any other way of life :)
I do agree one of the more positive aspects is being able to move around and see new places, meet knew people.
I know a lot of people complain about tricare/military doctors, but that is one benefit I'm really grateful to have...the insurance. Having 2 babies and not having to pay anything for either birth. Looking at a statement from Kayla's last set of ear tubes where the dr "charged" 30,000! Of course tricare didn't pay that much, but we didn't pay anything out of pocket either. I'm really grateful for that!
Post a Comment
Home