Boys intrigued me. Especially my little boy.
I grew up with two brothers and my father was present so there was a lot of
testosterone in our home.
We had GI Joe's and trucks, guns made from toast crusts, broken bones, mud, snakes in the pockets, the whole sha-bang. But, they weren't my little boys, they were my brothers, and being a girl I was way more interested in all the typical girl things. Like singing the latest Bryan Adams song into my hairbrush while sitting in front of the vanity in the room I shared with no one 'cause I was, you know, the only girl.
I think I have always appreciated the maleness of men. But especially now. I love how Daniel wears cologne on top of his axe body spray, on top of his manly deodorant, on top of his axe body wash. Somehow it isn't overwhelming, it's this smell that just sort of drifts around the house reminding me of his gender. I enjoy how he views everything through the lens of a man, what a great and interesting perspective it can be. I love to watch when he gets together with his buddies, few or many, and they play football- I am so intrigued by the interactions; the pushing and shoving, the friendly competition that comes out between them.
The "we may be friends but I'll take you out in a second to get that ball, just so we're clear
" kind of interactions. I totally dig that.
One night awhile ago, Daniel told me:"I need to go get in a fight or chop down a tree or something!". It made me laugh but... I got it. He needed to do something that made him feel like the man he is. All that being said, I see that kind of maleness in my son. It's little, like those micromachines. It has all the stuff of the big cars it's just mini.
I always said growing up that I didn't want to give birth to any girls, just give me five boys and I would be thrilled. (since I have actually given birth I have rescinded the whole "five" thing) Then I had a girl....I was in love. Love.
The pink, the bows, the earrings, I just couldn't get enough.
All during my second pregnancy I was sure I was having another girl. You couldn't convince me there was even a remote possibility that a boy could very well be in my future. I laughed when people suggested it. Laughed at them, like they were the crazy one. When I looked down to see the "plumbing" that came along with this new baby I was shocked. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I believe my first words were: 'A boy! What am I going to do with a boy and what am I going to do with that! (the plumbing)" It took me all of two minutes, then I was so deeply in love with this boy that was now mine. It took Eve awhile longer. She did eventually, following many discussions, stop asking where "Grace" was. We had, after all, called the baby that name for months.
For the first nine months or so he was just a baby. A boy yes, but still just a baby. But now the maleness is really starting to come out and I love it. Last night he was so excited about his bath that as I was reaching to turn the water on he peed, then laughed.
It made me laugh and laugh. I see his male tendencies in how, even though at this point, he would rather push around Eve's baby stroller than his trucks, he slams that stroller into the door or the couch. And what is it with boys and being naked? He is happiest when he has nothing on. Getting dressed takes up way too much of his play time- he screams his head off. Don't even think about trying to wash his face or hands after dinner without a fight.
Passing gas is hilarious to him. If that doesn't bring it down to the basics of being a male...! He also instinctively knows that balls are made to be thrown and he knew how to "zoom" a car without ever being shown, complete with the sound effects. But the best thing of all about him being a boy is how he loves me.
He snuggles on me, he plays with my hair, he pats my back and now he gives me kisses. Kisses
. From my baby boy. Nothing is better than that, not even chocolate. And I have a deep affinity for chocolate.
This summer I read a book by Rick Johnson called "That's my son". I needed to read that book. It helped refine the desires I have in raising my son. I now have a passion for letting him become that man he is meant to be, a manly man. Not to feminize my son. I still desire for him to be understanding, to have gentleness, and a profound respect for women among other things but all developed within the realm of being a male. I want to raise a warrior, a man with strong character and deep convictions.
Of course, first off we'll have to work on the whole "peeing when you hear running water" thing.